Speak to me.

I've never really been good at studying the Bible on my own.  I don't know if I am too literal, or if the writing style is just dry to me or what, but I have always sat in awe of those who read a verse and get something profound and deep and applicable to their lives or situations. 

I've always been the follower who gets SO MUCH out of a sermon.  I love it when friends show me a scripture reference that they have had some insights into which touched them.  It touches me too.  Here's the thing though, I want to get my own insights.  I want God to touch me too through his word, I want to hear something direct.

This week, I've been really seeking how to fall in love with Jesus.  I don't know how to express it, but I want a deeper relationship, and the default in my relationship isn't with Jesus, it's with me... so how do you fall in love?  Yeah, I don't know either.  Except I think it's intentional spending time with someone and seeing and appreciating who they are.

So, I've been intentional and reading the Bible, praying, worshiping.  Still, the Bible has been dry and *sigh* didn't speak to me much.  I've used Bible studies - books written by other people who have gotten some insight in a topic or another.  Don't get me wrong, I get stuff and I am blessed by the words on paper, but I want MY OWN.  (I'm so selfish)  And because I do, I keep trying.

So this morning, I wake up.  I stretch.  I reach over to grab my Bible and last night I'd decided I'd start with the book of Luke, wherein my pastor had taken a reference on Sunday and I liked it so... I thought I would start there.  Chapter 1, le sigh.  Chapter 2, nada.  Pbbbbt.

Urgh.

Why can't *I* have some deep insight into SOMETHING, God.  Why can't you speak to ME too?  Why I can't get something for me out of your Word.  Please speak to me here?  I just want to know what you want to say to me.  I want to fall in love with you like I see other people fall in love with you.  Please speak to me.

And no kidding, I wrote the above in my journal and my eyes alight on Jeremiah 3:33 that was also referenced in Sunday's sermon.  I remember that it's a verse that I wanted to look at again.  So I go to turn there and read.

Except I don't really turn there.  I turn to Jeremiah 33.  And I start reading.  And I start crying.  And I am touched... by words that are the words *I* need. 

I don't mean this to sound trite, but it's going to... sometimes the answer comes when you don't expect it to come.  I do know that God meets our needs, he meets my needs... and I believe he'll meet your needs.  Take time to ask.  Take time to listen.... especially the listen part.