The Struggle For Release...

It's supposed to be hard.  If it weren't hard, everyone would do it.  It's the hard that makes it great. - Jimmy Duggan, A League of Their Own

I went to a therapist this week, after unburdening myself she said, "It sounds like you are in the middle of a birthing process."  I agree.

I am in the midst of transition - that part of the birthing process where (I'm told) you don't want to do this anymore, but you really, really don't have a choice.  Thankfully, I understand that this comes at the end of the birthing process.... which then means you have a tiny infant who is wholy dependent on you to care for, and that's another whole ball of wax... but I digress - and will write about that later I am absolutely sure of it.

This is hard.  I'm not sure why it's so hard, but it is.  Is it because I am struggling to let go of understanding how things work out?  I think I've mentioned in past posts that if I understood the plan fully, I would want to control the why and the how - and it's something that I really do need to let go to God's plan and way of working it out.

So, why does the thought of this bring me peace?  I don't know.  I absolutely want to rest in my relationship with God.

I wrote the above this morning.  It is now nearly bedtime and I think that while it was a good spot, I needed to get to the place I am now - and I am going to need to be remind of this again and again because it's where I want to live.

Over and over God talks about taking care of us, that His grace is sufficient, that His mercy is new every morning.  That He takes care of birds, He clothes the lilies of the field - and how much more will He take care of us, His children.  What if my answer to God was, "Yes, and amen."?  What if I could live in this place of thankfulness? 

There is a place of peace, there is a place of grace where I want to live.  God wants us there too, in this place.  This place of release, the place of yes.