Just a little...

Four Thirty a.m.

It's not a time of day I recommend.  For some reason, I am experiencing this time of day with my eyelids lifted much too often.  All of the tricks that I typically use to lull myself to sleep, and then sleep runs away like a toddler in a mall.  Here I am, I was, giving chase.

I should probably find some kind of med that will allow me a nice 7.5 hours of blissful rest, but I am not a person who cares for meds much - even the herbal or homeopathic (melatonin) make me a little uncomfortable.  I'm trying though.

Last night I went to bed around midnight.  I did all the things - start my rain and ocean sounds, turned the timer on the t.v. (falling asleep in the dark is still a problem).  An hour or so beforehand I took a hot bath.  A girlfriend and I had a nice conversation and I was all "tucked in" - the realization that I am not alone cemented in my brain.  I fell asleep within minutes of closing my eyes.

Bing.  It's 4:30am.  And I am awake.  Again.

I looked up the corresponding organ for the time I am waking (need more info?  google Organ Meridian Times - this corresponds with Traditional Chinese Medicine) and it was "lungs".  When I woke up, I was congested and having trouble breathing, my apparatus (a singing term) filled with yuck and goo.  But is that it?

Why am I waking up in this time, am I forgetting to breathe?  Did the heat turn on and overheat me (which is a trick, as I keep my house at a chilly 55* most of the time)?  Am I anxious over the dumb little things I say during the day... afraid that I've caused someone pain?  Am I mulling over the possibilities in store for me?  I don't know.  Frankly, I don't care.

I just want SLEEP.

UPDATE:  I was up for half an hour, and then I closed my eyes and was gone for about another 2.5.  I may get a nap in today too!