I am moving house this week. I hate it more than almost anything. I hate it more than paperwork, and more than stupidity. I grew up in the same house through my childhood. I was 19 when I moved out and I think I haven't stopped moving since...it seems it's every few years, but if I count the moves, it's more than that. Moving gives me panic attacks.
I am taking a few minutes of unpacking boxes time and unpacking why I dislike it so much: Is it because I have hoarding tendencies? Maybe. I often look at things I own and dream of a life I'd like... more social with more people enjoying each other's company which leads me to keep said item(s) longer than I should.
Maybe it's because I have a lot of interests and each interest comes with it's accompaniments... and that is fairly noble, if you look at it that way. Maybe because I think I need all of these little things and have spent time and money acquiring them and to let them go is just a bit more than I can bear. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I am humbled in this move. I've a friend who has bent over backwards to help me get ready and put together and moved... and really has worked to keep me sane.
I don't know if you have friends like this woman. I hope you do. She sees something in me that I can't fathom and she is adamant about getting me set into my new life. It's pretty humbling.
Why do people do that? I know I have done it for other people. I think about my motivation and it's equally unfathomable as to why I do this for others. I suppose it really is an aspect of unconditional love. The need or desire to care and be helpful. I don't know if that's the case for everyone.
I have a lot of thoughts rumbling through my brain these days. Sadly, my brain is also occupied with all of the practicalities of all of the life changes I am experiencing. I don't think that there is any aspect of my life that isn't under construction. Perhaps, perhaps that is normal... maybe we are all always under construction. It just feels like so much right now and I am so overwhelmed.
I think things will calm down soon enough for me. I'll get back to writing then, I do enjoy it so very much. I can't wait to get back to enjoying the quiet of my life: guitar playing and singing, developing and deepening my relationship with Jesus again, creating in the kitchen, indulging in my friendships, walking on my beloved beach, just resting, and having thoughts.
In the interim, I will chose to be moved by all sorts of things in my life... some in my control and some outside of it.
